I think we can all agree that coffee makes everything better—even jokes!
That’s why I've brewed up a fresh batch of 35 hilarious coffee jokes to keep you laughing through your morning cup and beyond. This list is sure to espresso your sense of humor. So, grab your favorite mug, take a sip, and let’s dive into the world of coffee-fueled comedy!
#1. What happens when a young coffee bean gets into trouble?
They get grounded!
#2. What do you call sad coffee?
Depresso
#3. What’s a barista’s favorite exercise?
The French press!
#4. Why do coffee lovers always have a strong relationship?
Because they have a latte in common.
#5. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
#6. What did one coffee bean say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re brew-tiful.”
#7. What’s an espresso's favorite song?
"Hit Me with Your Best Shot."
#8. What did the coffee shop worker wear that got her fired?
A Tea-shirt.
#9. What’s a coffee’s favorite weather?
Mug-gy.
#10. Who is a coffee’s favorite classical music artist?
Bean-thoven.
#11. How does Moses make his coffee?
He-brews it.
#12. What do you call it when it feels like you've been inside a coffee shop before?
Déja-brew.
#13. Why should you never tell a secret to your coffee?
They spill the beans too easily.
#14. What kind of coffee do cows like after giving birth?
De-calf-inated.
#15. What kind of coffee do vampires drink?
De-coffin-ated.
#16. Why don’t coffee beans get into arguments?
Because they know how to espresso themselves!
#17. What happens if you spill coffee on your keyboard?
You Java problem.
#18. What is Harry Potters favorite coffee spell?
Espresso Patronum!
#19. Why did the coffee shop go out of business?
Because it ran out of steam.
#20. What’s a coffee bean's favorite time of day?
Brew-thirty.
#21. What type of coffee do cats like the best?
A purr-over.
#22. What did the two coffee lovers say when they got married?
We’re meant to bean together!
#23. Why don’t vampires drink coffee after midnight?
It keeps them up all day.
#24. Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch?
Because he was pressed for time.
#25. What did one coffee say to another coffee she hasn't seen in a while?
Where ya bean?
#26. If *Nsync turned into coffee beans, what would you call them?
A brew band!
#27. What’s the worst thing about drinking too much coffee?
Nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with drinking to much coffee.
#28. How do coffee beans say goodbye?
They say, "See you latte!"
#29. What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee?
A mugging!
#30. How is divorce similar to Starbucks coffee?
It’s expensive and bitter.
#31. What pick-up line does coffee use?
"Hey there, hot stuff!"
#32. What kind of coffee does a cat like?
A meow-chiato!
#33. What do you call a lazy coffee?
Decaf!
#34. Why don't coffee beans mediate?
They don't want to be grounded.
#35. Why did the coffee break up with the milk?
Because it needed some space to espresso itself!
Wrapping It Up: A Latte Laughs and Good Vibes
There you have it—35 hilarious coffee jokes brewed to perfection! Whether you chuckled, groaned, or nearly spilled your coffee from laughing too hard, we hope this list added a little extra joy to your day.
The next time you’re sipping on your favorite brew, share a joke or two with a fellow coffee lover—after all, humor (like coffee) is best enjoyed with friends. ☕😂